1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’
Oshey, Lord Withdrawal! Didn’t they tell you that your pre-cum has enough sperm from your last
self-service session to father a child? Oh okay, you pee in- between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t
honestly tell me that there weren’t a few slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You and I know that
the sweetest part is when you offload all your goods in the right warehouse. So stop applauding
yourself for staining the sheets. And just a little reminder, someone in the bible days died because
of this type of thing.
2. ‘It’s The Woman’s Responsibility To Handle Contraception’
This is how so many clueless men have been lied to. She tells you she’s on the pill or that she’ll pop
some after and you believe and go in without protection. This same babe will come back a month
later and tell you the pill(s) didn’t work. Dude, never believe any of that nonsense a woman says before
S3x. Always have yourself locked and loaded.
3. ‘I Tear Open The Condom Package With My Teeth’
It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the teeth involved during S3x but please, use your
fingers to tear open the condom package. Why? To avoid poking a hole into the condom, silly. The
only hole you should be poking should be… never mind. The wise ones understand what I’m talking
about.
4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During S3x
Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You start having
S3x then halfway, for whatever reason, you say
‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use a condom’ and then you
put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously
not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide
‘this condom thing is killing my vibe’ and decide to
remove it halfway, please go for quality stuff next
time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or
just get married and stay faithful mbok.
5. ‘We Had S3x During Her Period’ First of all…eww!
Second, don’t deceive yourself. Women have and can get pregnant during their
periods. Some medical practitioners will not agree to this but others will. It has been found that some
women ovulate when they are menstruating, so next time while dipping into the Red Sea, be sure
to use a life jacket. If you go releasing your little swimmers with no protection, one of them is bound to swim upstream and catch something you’re not prepared for.
6. I’ve Had The Condom For Three Years
My dear brother,
I know it’s a quality brand product and probably cost you a few hundred
naira and you’re saving it for prime V, or just may be you haven’t been laid in a long time; but it’s no reason for you to leave it in your wallet until it either expires or becomes useless. Use it when it’s still good or throw it away.
7. ‘I Like My Condom Tight’
And so you push your p*n*s all in to fill the condom tip. Bros, unless your p*n*s is shaped
exactly like a condom, please desist from tightening things in there. You have to leave that space for the spill. If you don’t, the condom will break. I’m tempted to say it’s not ‘rocket’ sciencebut erm…
8. ‘We Had S3x While Standing’
First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me understand the logic. You did it while standing and
all of the Fluid spilled to the floor and none was left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law
of gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology, which may have a law somewhere that states ‘what
goes in, stays in’. You should know that the v*g’i’na is one place that may not have a door but has a
way of keeping things in. Be Warned!
Basically, just don’t be silly during S3x. Protect yourself and your woman. Use a condom.
No comments:
Post a Comment